Let me hold you
by ShadowDianne
Summary: SwanQueen hug just because


**A/N Hi all! Well, after last night's episode I think we all know a couple of things: Adam and Eddie seem to think that rape is pretty much ok in a "family show", the "plot twist" at the end was hilarious, Robin keeps with his toilet problems, Young!Lily had the hots for Emma and Regina and Emma are completely married by now. That and the gun point scene was pretty much incredible because Lana's and JMO's acting. **

**Ah, since I haven't been able to rewatch the episode since last night sorry if the order of Regina's interactions are a little bit fuzzy.**

**Ah! I'm finally (yay) editing PS:YAW so a big hallelujah.**

Let me hold you

The metal had been cold when Emma had pointed the gun at Lily, she had felt the coldness and the weight of it even before holding it, a subconscious part of her mind already knowing that she was going to use it. The blonde's head was spinning out of control when she finally took a hold on the woman before her, the woman that should have been her, that could have been her.

That was what made her tremble, not the notion of being evil but the memory of Cruella, dead at her feet, of her, not looking back when she had finally told Lily goodbye, too hurt to even turn back for a second.

Lily was her, and yet it wasn't, her decisions had been marked since birth, even before that since fate liked to play with everyone. And yet the kneeled woman, asking her to just end with her life could have been her in another life, could have been her because maybe without the magical possibility of a connection with her long lost parents she could have been a lost girl all her life while trying to be alive, struggling to make the right decision. She would never think of herself as a princess of another realm, of a savior and yet, because of that, she was the one in the verge of being evil and the only person that equalized that was the person that reminded her so much of what she had been once. Of what she had needed to do to just keep walking.

"Emma, put the gun down" Regina said, a plea and something else in her voice as she approached her carefully, slowly with her hands half raised as if trying to conjure something that she couldn't since she didn't have magic. Emma saw her from the corner of her eye and a part of her screamed to just do it, to drop the gun and keep pretending to be the savior while seeing what her parents had done to Lily, to a girl like her. To a girl that could have been her.

"Don't pull the trigger" Regina said and Emma turned to look at Lily, her brown eyes open and waiting for her to make the final decision and the blonde suddenly felt a scream growing inside of her, a ball of rage and sadness that asked to be left alone without any more magic or family to save.

"It's this how it feels to see the other side of the line?" She thought, remembering how Regina had struggled at first to keep herself away from magic, of what had make her be powerful and feared in a world in which she had been powerless until she turned into a monster because someone's else wishes.

"The journey back isn't easy, trust me, I know. This is what Gold wants you to do, so don't." Regina's voice resounded on her head once again as if the woman knew what she was thinking about, as if the woman felt the weight of the gun and the chill in her soul and cry that was stuck on her throat, asking her to finish everything with one more step towards the darkness that had been hers on the first place.

And maybe, Emma realized, she knew.

Her eyes were focused on Lily but her mind was thinking on the amount of times she had seen Regina barely hanging on her control back in Neverland, after everything she had had to endure. The journey hadn't been easy for her and yet Regina trusted Emma enough to think that she could do what she had done and take a step back. Nodding to herself she lowered the gun, the anger quickly replaced by tiredness and a deep sadness that filled her like a stream of water sipping through a crack on the concrete.

Neither of the three moved for a second and then it was Regina who approached Emma and took the gun from the blonde's trembling hands before taking another step back and letting Emma take a deep breath. The younger woman closed her eyes for a second before focusing them on Lily who gulped and stood as straight as she culd while looking back and forth between Emma and Regina. The later holding the gun with obvious distate for the weapon but a shy and proud smile adorning her features every time she looked at Emma.

"I'm going to let you two alone" Regina said with a pointy look towards Lily who nodded slowly "But I will be right here"

Those last words weren't directed to Lily but to Emma and the blonde felt them as a thick blanket and a cup of chocolate, the comforting items she had always dreamt to have wherever she couldn't have them but she craved from warmth.

Suddenly shy she nodded and ducked her head, her tongue feeling heavy and big on her mouth as the cry she had been holding mellowed into gratitude towards the other mother of their son. The one that, now she thought about it more clearly, had endured her lashing words without saying anything because she had known exactly how she was feeling. Not caring of Lily anymore the blonde took a step towards Regina and hugged her not bothering to think that maybe the former queen found it stupid and completely useless. Her own thoughts were far away from that and as she hugged the shorter woman's body as tightly as she could she felt shy arms circling her in a soft yet calming hug.

"I will be right here" Regina reminded her in a whisper and Emma nodded, her nose and brain filled of the scent she had always associated with Regina while the brunette's words eased the last remains of fear and rage she had stuck on her head.

"I know"


End file.
